my name is fiona, im a senior in high skewl, im 17 years old. im an artist, i can paint, i can sew, i can produce a bit of music (poorly), i can digitally edit things rllyyyyy well, i can make websites (not the best at it), i love to have fun :-), i also love cats. this site is still under contruction so. keep that in mind. enjoy the music x

7/7/2026: its 1 am while im writing this and i havent blogged in a while. mostly because ive been so depressed and isolated, but i guess thats what summer usually does to me anyway. plus i havent been taking my prozac which ive just got back into being consistent about. i think itd be less absolutely draining if i literally just had places to go, i mean, i cant drive and im nowhere near anywhere interesting to walk to. my hair has been so tangled and is still tangled while im writing this. it usually gets tangled when im uuuuuuuuber depressed and i just lay in my bed all day. it starts to sortof become cyclical for me. anyway, i gotta detangle my hair really bad and i refuse to let my mom detangle it for me. she tells me if i dont detangle my hair im going to have to cut it which for one, i will neeeeeeeeeever fucking do. my hair is like my life source its so important and sentimental and personal to me, if its being cut in any way its from me or someone i put my trust in. id rather have tangled hair than i fucked up haircut that would make me feel like shit. its also why i dont trust my mom with detangling my hair because unfortunately, i dont trust her with really anything personal to me especially my hair because my hair is practically me. the last two times i trusted her with detangling my hair, during the whole process i just felt this incredible amount of anxiety and fear that ive never really felt in years. anyway im going to blog more on this page more often, hopefully daily. i mean, if anyone is really reading this. i mostly really started this website as an art project and just because i was bored, and this blog page is just sortof where i just try to write down my thoughts and sortof read through them and reprocess them and organize them in a way. usually when im pondering my head goes in five million different directions and i start to sortof warp the original topic or whatever. anyway, listening to a ton of EDM recently as i typically do during the summer. jane remover is the closest ill get in musical taste to 2hollis. i dont really have anything against him im sure hes a good person or something but its like, theres something about him i cant stand. ok bye im going to sleep.

6/21/2026: i think im terrified of people and recently ive been trying to work on that. honestly i think mostly im terrified of being too annoying or too emotional or too embarrassing or too bitchy. basically like, the stupid fucking saying thats been said to death of "just be yourself!!!!" or whatever. ive been reminding myself that its okay to publicly express myself and to have fun and that if someone gets second hand embarrassment that doesnt mean im going to explode on the spot or something. i think its easier to speak to people or literally just have fun when im with my close friends, or if im cunty lmao. but when thats gone, i feel sortof feel completely alone, and i just panic and crawl into my little ditch. but luckily as i said, im getting better at speaking to people so theres that. i dont know im just spitting out my thoughts, might edit this later or something. you know when you play a song so much you feel kindof like throwing up? that is quite literally me rn ive been playing the song korea by kim petras over and over and over cuz its so gooooooooooood and the album is so goood seriously listen to detour its so fucking good it made me restore faith in kim petras again. literally she just needs to be collaborating with dolls more cuz she can make beautiful miracles happen like her work with sophie before she died (rest in peace) and she needs to stop collaborating with freaks and flops who keep her in the same little "slut pop" box that often a lot of dolls getting into the music industry fall into because well, its the easiest way to actually make it in the industry because society already sexualizes and fetishizes dolls in the first place and then ciriticizes dolls once theyre in the sex industry even though its like bitch, you put them there. idk girl ive been in a strange mood but in a very like, peacefull way? like im really meloncholy but also at the same time feeling very at peace and calm. maybe i should try meditation.

6/20/2026: hi i forgot to write the last two days. thats okay lol i didnt really have much to talk about, cuz mostly i was just depressed and literally rotting and playing video games all day. but truth is i really just needed some prozac and realllllyyyy good shower and well. that happened! so im feeling much better. ive also sortof healed from my breakup and now im starting to think more and more about relationships, my sexuality, and my platonic relationships that are so close to my heart theyre like my family. now that im single, im pondering if im only attracted to women or not, and its not a new thing to ponder for me. ive actually been thinking about this for a while but i sortof put off the thought cuz i was like "well i wont be single for a long time anyways!!!" and well. im single. so its time to ponder. where im currently at with my sexuality is that, if i ever realize im romantically interested in a man, i wont limit myself from pursuing that relationship. but if that never happens then, oh well lol. idk girl, dating is weird. humanity tends to limit and box in the completely uncontainable. consciousness is so undefined that honestly, i dont know why we as a society often want to organize it so much. actually i lied i do kindof know why, its convenience. i mean convenience and power are the roots of most things of this nature. anyway gunna go play dbd and post too much on my stories. xoxo

6/17/2026: i had to do a zoom meeting for the first time in 6 YEARS and oh my fucking god its unbearableeee the pain is unbearableeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i hate zoom i hate it FUCK zoom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND my stomach is in pain i feel like im pregnant with five million demon babibes that are going to eat through my stomach lining like bella swan in breaking dawn or like rosemrys baby. ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! the zoom couldve litterallyyyyy been an email but ig not fuck me ig because fucking ZOOM. ill write more later when my stomach is in less distress.

6/16/2026: its 6 am as of when im writting this so i might get cursed with a million years of general discomfort or whatever, anyway. listening to crank by slayyyter while lying still in my bed while drinking a la croix pamplemouse flavor! thoroughly enjoying my morning so far. ill put more in this entry later on today when i have more to say. hi this is an update to this entry. today, me and my girlfriend broke up. its okay though, it was pretty mutual. we were both just not really right for eachother anymore, so it was kindof innevitable as pessimistic as it is to say. were still friends though, and im honestly a little relieved now. everything i was sortof anxious about is sortof gone in a sense, you know. all ive been really thinking about is how mutual breakups are so hard to do when they happen. its sortof easy to break up with someone if they like, cheated on you 5million times and killed your whole family lol. but when its just when two people realize they arent right for eachother, it sortof has this complexity that most things that are i guess in a grey area usually are. im really gratefull that the relationship happened though. ive learnt a lot from it and im sure she has aswell. and im gratefull that it ended as healthily as it did. im doing okay.

6/15/2026: hi! first little entry here. things have been feeling really weird lately, like everything is either a constant high or a constant low at the exact same time, so im in this weird middle state that isnt even a sortof emotional "fine"-ness, but like my feelings are chopped up and the pieces are shoved into either "really happy" or "really sad/angry/stressed". in general, things are feeling surreal and abstract. but idk girl it might just be the prozac or somethin. also wtf is with neocities not letting me fucking edit my websites after i restart my computer? its pissing me off. LET ME EDIT MY FUCKING WEBSITE >:-O {update: it finally let me edit it :) i feel so happy and free yay ya yay yay heheheehehehhshahahahahaahah} anyway. im sleeping way earlier than usual recently. which is both good and bad cuz i get to wake up early but i also miss a ton of the evening. although, i did (try) to pull an all nighter recently and fell asleep at 3:33 am so :-/ . i want to paint more so fuckingggg badddddd i just need more canvases and shit. which is totally achievable but i also gotta do so much this summer that idk if id have the time, like, i gotta do summer school and precollage AGAIN for fashion skewl which is like fine cuz im going into fashion for my college major anyway but whatever thats not the point, the point is that i want to paintttttt i yearn to paint paintingggssss!!!!!11!!!!!1!!! anyway im just kindof spitting my thoughts out right now, its like, 8:47 rn so im pretty tired. i want to drive so fucking bad.